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誉める | ひろみのみ

ひろみのみ

IT業界で働く人のためのサイトです。ITエンジニアのキャリア、転職、資格、スキルなど

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誉める

   

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以前ご紹介をしたように、「誉める」ことは、は承認の1つです。

⇒ 承認
  
今回は、誉め上手とそうでない人の違いを見ていきましょう。

普通の人

普通の人の誉めかた。

人は通常、自分が他人からされて「良かった」と思うことを、他人にもする傾向があります。
  
誉め方も同じです。
自分が嬉しかった誉めかた、それを使うのが普通の人のやりかたです。

これで上手くいっている場合には全く問題はありません。

ただ…
人は十人十色。

それを喜んでくれる人もいれば、何も感じない人だっているかもしれません。

誉め上手な人は、もう一歩進んだやりかたを知っています。

誉め上手

誉め上手な人は、普通の人と比べると誉めかたのバリエーションが多彩です。

人によって、誉めかたを変える。
  
その人がどんな言葉をかけられると喜ぶのか、
どんなタイミングで誉められると嬉しいのか、

一人ひとりをよく観察しています。

メジャーリーグを代表する名監督の1人、トミー・ラソーダ氏。彼は、誉め上手な人であったと言われています。

例えば、ある選手がヒットを打つ、すると、ラソーダ監督は、「Good!」と声をかける。ところが彼はあまり嬉しそうな顔をしない。

次に、彼がまたヒットを打ったら、今度は別の言葉をかける。  

これを繰り返して、彼が反応する言葉を探し出しているのです。

誉めない人

これとは反対に、誉めることが苦手という方もいらっしゃいます。

誉めない理由をきくと、こんな理由があるようです。

  • 誉めるところがないので誉められない。
  • その程度はできて当たり前、誉める必要はない。
  • あまり誉めると、誉められることに慣れてしまうので効果が薄くなる。
  • あまり誉めると、つけあがる。

その気持ち、よくわかります。私もそうでした。

でも、少しだけ考えてみて下さい。

その人は、本当に誉めるところが無いのでしょう?たまたま、あなたが誉めるところを発見できなかっただけかもしれません。

それは、本当に誉める必要がないことなのでしょう?もしかしたら、あなたが、誉めたらその人はとても喜ぶかもしれません。  

もし、「あまり誉めると、誉めることの効果が薄れてしまう」と、考えているのであれば、あなたの誉めかたのバリエーションが少ないのかもしれません。

誉めすぎると、人はつけあがってしまうものなのでしょうか?

もし、そういった経験をしたことはあれば、誉めるタイミング、あるいは、あなたの誉めかたに何か原因があったのかもしれません。

実は… これらは全て、以前の私にあてはまることです。
  
私の親は、あまり簡単に誉めてくれる人ではありませんでした。(^-^;;
だから、誉められるということが、実はよくわかっていなかったのかもしれません。

D.カーネギーは『人を動かす』の中で、こう書いています。

「人間の行為に関して、重要な法則がある。この法則にしたがえば、たいていの紛争は避けられる。これを守りさえすれば、友はかぎりなくふえ、常に幸福が味わえる。だが、この法則を破ったとなると、たちまち、はてしない紛争に巻き込まれる。この法則とは、 『常に相手に重要感を持たせること』。」

とても深い言葉だと思います。


人を動かす 文庫版

   
  

実践!!

次のことを実践してみましょう!!

  1. 毎日、3人以上の人を誉めてみましょう(^-^)その人を観察して、喜びそうなポイントを探し出して下さい!

  
さて、実践してみての結果はいかがだったでしょうか。

以前読んだ本の中で、チームメンバーのモチベーションを高める方法の1つとして、
「誉める」が取り上げられていました。

例えば、

「○○さんはすごい!○○さんがしていることは…」(具体的に誉める)
「○○さんには人間的な魅力がある。」(人格を誉める)
「○○さんには、底知れない力を感じる。もっと~してくれたら…」(可能性を誉める)

というように、チーム構築のプロセスで、お互いがお互いを個人として認め合うことをすることで、人は限りなく自己効力感を高めることができるのだそうです。
※自己効力感とは、目前の出来事に対する自分の効力を信じられる状態。

【 参考 】

組織開発ハンドブック―組織を健全かつ強固にする4つの視点

チーム・ビルディングにおいても、このシンプルなスキル、「誉める」は十分に力を発揮する可能性があるのですね。 

確かに、会話が無いチームや、ギスギスしたチームより…
お互いの良いところを認め合える、そんなチームで仕事をしたいと私も思います。(^-^)

 - その他のスキル ,