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「話しを聞く」効果 | ひろみのみ

ひろみのみ

IT業界で働く人のためのサイトです。ITエンジニアのキャリア、転職、資格、スキルなど

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「話しを聞く」効果

   

話しを聞くスキル効果 イメージ画像
これまでに、「話しを聞く」スキル、話しを遮らない、促す、沈黙するの3つをお伝えしてきました。聞くスキルのまとめとして、その効果を、いくつかの視点から考えてみたいと思います。

話しを聞くスキルの効果

前回までに、聞くスキルを3つ紹介してきました。

  聞くスキル1:話しを遮らない
  聞くスキル2:話しを促す
  聞くスキル3:沈黙する

聞くスキル3のことをパッシブ・リスニング
聞くスキル2のことをアクティブ・リスニングともよびます。

トマス・ゴードン博士の著書『親業』の中に、「話しを聞く」ことの効果について、参考になる記述があるので見てみましょう。

博士は、「沈黙」について、著書の中でこう述べています。

沈黙は本当に受容されていることを相手に感じさせるのに効果的である。
カウンセラーなど人助けの専門家はこのことをよく知っていて、インタビューでも沈黙をよく使う。

ここでは、「受容」とは、否定も肯定せずに相手の言っていることをそのまま受け入れることと解釈して下さい。  

人は、受容されていると感じると安心し、その逆であれば不安を感じます。つまり、沈黙は相手に安心感を与える、そんな効果もあるのです。

また、「話しを促す」スキルについてはこう述べています。

これ(話しを促すこと)は自分の考え、判断、感情を相手に全然伝えないで、相手にその考え、判断、感情を表現するように促す方法である。(中略)

このように扉をあける言葉や、話すようにいわば招待状をだすことで、相手が話しをしやすくなる。話しはじめるように、あるいは、話つづけるようにと相手を促すことになる。  

ここでは、「自分の考え、判断、感情を伝えない」ということがポイントです。
話しを促すことで、相手の本音を引き出しやすくなるのです。
 
※参考書籍 親業 トマス・ゴードン著

親業―子どもの考える力をのばす親子関係のつくり方

   
こんな例もあります。

以前、某大手金融企業に勤めるクライアント、T氏から聞いた話です。

ある日のことです。

部下のミスが発覚し、このままでは大事な顧客に多大な迷惑をかけてしまうことが明らかになりました。急いで顧客に連絡をとり、今後の対応策を練るため急遽顧客オフィスに、車で向かうことになりました。

横に座る部下をみると、顔面は青く落ち込んでいる様子。
いつもであれば、怒鳴りつけるところですが、はじめてみる落ち込んだ部下の様子にT氏は怒ることができませんでした。

エンジン音だけが聞こえる静かな車の中で、何を話していいかわからず。T氏は、部下の話を聞くことにしました。

トラブルの原因は何だったのか、どうしてそうなってしまったのか。
   
最初は口が重かった部下も、T氏が聞き役に回ることで少しずつ話を始めました。話をしているうちに落ち着いてきたのか、部下の顔色も戻ってきました。

しばらくすると、部下は、「はっ」とし、T氏の方に体を向け、自らが考えるトラブルの対応策を話しはじめました。

これには、T氏が驚きました。
まさか、部下が自分で対応策を考えられるとは思っていなかったのです。

そして、顧客先に到着するころには、対応策は決定していました。

T氏は、こう話を締めくくりました。
「私はただ、彼の話しを聞いていただけなんですけれどね。」
  
このように、相手が心理的余裕が無くなっている時にも、「話しを聞く」ことは効果を発揮します。

話しをする、つまり、ガス抜きをすることで、頭の整理をする余裕を作り出すことができるのではないかと思います。
  
ここまでをまとめると、話しを聞くことの効果には次のようなものがあります。

話しを聞くことの効果

  1)相手に安心感を与える。
  2)相手の考え、判断、感情を表現するように促す。
  3)ガス抜きをして、頭の整理をする。

そして、「話しを聞く」ことで得られるもう1つの効果として、次のものがあります。

  4)相手の情報を引き出す。

このように、「話しを聞く」ことには様々な効果があります。

私が、コーチングを学び始めたころと比べると、コーチングが一般的になり、
「話しを聞く」スキルをもった人も増えてきたように感じています。

もちろん、これから「聞くスキル」を身に着けたいという人もいらっしゃるかもしれません。

「話しを聞くスキル」は、コミュニケーションスキルのなかで、1番みにつけやすいスキルだと私は思います。最初は、難しいと感じることもあるかもしれませんが、実践することで、必ず、使えるようになるスキルです。

さまざまな場面で使うことができますので、
仕事で、家庭で、日々の生活のなかで、ぜひ、活用してみてください。

 - 聞くスキル