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話し上手と聞き上手 | ひろみのみ

ひろみのみ

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話し上手と聞き上手

   

com02
「話し上手」と、「聞き上手」。

この言葉から、あなたはどのような人を連想するのでしょうか?

「話し上手」と「聞き上手」あなたはどちら?

20代の頃の私は 「話し上手」であることに憧れていました。

「自分の言いたいことも言えずに人の話を聞かされるなんて損だ!」
ずっとそう、思っていました。

人と話していたって、ろくに人の話は聞きません。
人の話は上の空、自分が次に何を言うか、
それだけをひたすら考えていました。

あなたの周りにも、そんな人いませんか?

それでは、ここでちょっとだけ考えてみて下さい。

あなたの話を全く聞いてくれず、自分の言いたいことしか言わない人。
そんな人と話をしていて楽しいでしょうか?

  :
  :
  :

いかがでしょう?

私は… 
そういう人と話していても楽しくありません。

自分の話を聞いてくれる人と話をしていたほうがずっと楽しいですし、
話していて満足感もあります。

たぶん、多くの方が同じ意見だと思います。

それなのに・・
どうして、「話し上手」になろうとする人は多いのに
「聞き上手」になろうとうする人は少ない
のでしょう?? 不思議ですね。

提案!「聞き上手」になってみませんか?

ここまでを簡単に整理すると、一般的に、

  • 人は、自分のことを話したい
  • 相手には、自分の話を聞いてほしい

と、なります。
  
当然、あなたの話し相手も同じことを考えている可能性大です。

だったら・・
「話し上手」も良いですが、「聞き上手」を目指してみるのはいかがでしょう?
特に、話すことに自信がないのであればなおさらに。
  
相手の話を、上手に聞くことができれば、
”自分のことを話したい”という相手の欲求は満たされるわけですから
きっと、あなたに対して悪い印象はもたないと思います。

こんな話もあります。
『人を動かす』の著者D.カーネギーの話です。

カーネギーはある日、パーティの席上である有名な植物学者に出会います。
学者と話しているうちにカーネギーはすっかり彼の話に魅せられてしまいました。

めずらしい植物の話、新種をつくり出すいろいろな実験など、非常に興味深い話にカーネギーは、ただ関心して話を聞いていました。

数時間後、夜もふけてきたので、カーネギーは学者に別れを告げます。すると、その学者はカーネギーのことを、”世にもめずらしい話し上手”だと誉めちぎりました。

カーネギーはほとんど何も喋らなかったのにです!

彼がしたことは、心からおもしろいと思って学者の話を聞いたこと。ただそれだけだったのです。

※参考図書 D.カーネギー 人を動かすより

人を動かす 新装版

聞いていただけの、カーネギーが”話し上手”とはどうしてなのでしょう。
  

私達の身近(?)な例でいえば、
例えば、タモリさんや明石屋さんまさんは聞き上手だと思います。

一見、彼らが一方的に喋っているように見えるのですが、
実は、とても良く人の話を聞き、相手の話を上手に引き出しています。

まとめ

「話し上手」と「聞き上手」、いかがでしたか?

もし、あなたがコミュニケーションに苦手意識をもっているのであれば、
「聞き上手」を目指してみませんか?

また、機会をみて「聞くスキル」について、詳しく書いていく予定です(^-^

 - コミュニケーション